Dear 2020,

Our time together is drawing to a close. We’ve literally only hours left together. I’d be lying if I said I wished that weren’t the case. And, were I to even attempt such subterfuge, I’m sure you’d see right through it. We know each other far too well for polite platitudes to pass as truths between us.

When we first met, I was so excited. I mean, you were the start of a brand new decade! That’s huge. Or, it seemed so at the time… Plus there was the patterning of your numerical repetition. Who could deny that 2-0-2-0 doesn’t have legit sex appeal? (The answer is no one. Even now, knowing what I know, some sick part of my left brain really digs that number.) And of course, there was all that the potential implied by your final zero. It’s funny, now that I look back with the clear vision that is hindsight, how I only ever considered “potential” as being for desirous happenings.

2020, I met you with expectations that I now know were ridiculous. That’s not your fault. You never promised to be something other than an identification number created by humans to mark the passing of another 365 days. I know that. We all know that.

I’m sure this has to be a difficult time for you, 2020. As if the holidays aren’t already challenging, you’ve got an entire world actually celebrating your passing. Shit, even Pat Sajak has been making disparaging comments about you at the end of this week’s episodes of Wheel of Fortune. I can imagine a lot of lows, but being criticized by Pat Sajak? Yeah, that’s gotta suck.

It’s true that I set myself up for legit disappointment at the start of this relationship. I accept my share of the responsibility for that bit. But, it’s not like you were merely underwhelming, 2020. You were, well… awful. You were truly awful. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do the thing where one person lists all the failings of the other in a relationship. I’m not going to enumerate every last way you disappointed and hurt and angered me. We both know how things have been. And frankly, I just don’t have the emotional energy to go through it all again. I know you just rolled your eyes, but that was not an exaggeration. You’ve been beyond exhausting, 2020. Surely you’ve noticed that people keep referring to you as the worst year in memory, haven’t you? It’s not like it’s just me and my unrealistic expectations. We humans don’t agree upon much these days – especially in the US – but your awfulness seems to be our one point of unity. Silver lining, perhaps?

I’m not going to claim that our time together was a complete waste, because it wasn’t. You’ve taught me a lot, 2020. I had time to self-reflect. Insights were had. Changes have been made. More changes are coming. And I expect that over the coming months I’ll look back on our time together and learn even more.

However, as much as I dig personal growth and all that shit, I’m not looking for 365 days of teachable moments. I’d like a bit more out of a year. And wouldn’t ya know it, there’s a new one on the doorstep. I know things won’t magically be better at midnight. And, I certainly learned my lesson about setting unrealistic expectations for a new year. But, the bar is set pretty low for 2021…

And this girl is definitely ready for a fresh start.

Good-bye, 2020.

P.S. Please don’t text or call. Actually, just delete my number. Thanks.